Another Me
by Kinberuri
Summary: (yuri) 25 years in the future, Miyako reflects on who she is and who she was.


DISCLAIMER: Digimon is not mine. I think the season finale of 02 states this VERY CLEARLY. _;;  
  
WARNINGS: Yuri. Yomi/Yakomi, Soyako, Hiyako. Possible OOCness. Gomen nasai.   
  
So I'm actually doing my a/n before I begin the story... That's a first. I just need to get in sinc...  
  
With the gut wrenching, Sorato and Kenyako infested season finale of Digimon 02 released in Japan, I have already read at least 5 fics involving Kensuke/Daiken affairs or pinings set in the future. Now don't get me wrong. I am a positively RABID Kensuke fan. It's my bread and butter. But I've been thinking...  
  
In some ways, Miyako reminds me of myself. Or at least a self that I used to be and am not proud of. Probably why I don't care much for Miyako. What I mean is, for a very long time I was positively boy crazy. I would have jumped anything with male genitals. Meanwhile, I was in love with a close friend who just happened to be female. Reflecting on this and Miyako, I realized that Miyako's future could have been my own if I hadn't come to grips with my sexuality. Miyako is a seemingly strong girl, I can imagine her owning a business or getting into advertising. But she ends up a house wife, as far as I know. Three kids. Married to Ken.   
  
I hardly call this a fic. It's more like a roleplay for me, imagining what that would be like... I am actually following canon, for once in my life aside from a little ad libbing. Dear gods, save me.  
  
  
Sseconary a/n after completing: Yes, this is maddeningly short and disjointed. What can I say.  
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Babies are positively exhausting. I thought after going through two, Satsuki would be a breeze. But she's been the most difficult yet. She refuses to sleep through the night, has terrible colic and now that Ken is working a mostly night shift, I'm alone with her through the night.   
  
I stifle a sigh, rinsing out a bottle and placing it on the rack of dishes before allowing myself a moment to flop into one of the dining room chairs. Satsuki is asleep. Fumihiko is playing at the neighbor's house. Mai is at soccer practice. Ken is at work. I close my eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, savoring a moment of peace. And releasing it, open my eyes which wander over to the shelf beside the kitchen table.   
  
Rising from my seat, I study a group photograph taken when I was fourteen.All of us, from Taichi to Iori. What happened to those days? Funny how I felt more carefree when I had to worry about saving the world rather than maintaining a house. I miss those days...   
  
Idly my fingers wander over the photograph, over familiar faces and old friends. I miss those days so much... When I could just be myself and everything felt sincere. Sincerity...  
  
If I were wise I would push these memories aside. But no one ever accused me of being wise...   
  
I remember them all so vividly. From Daisuke's bloated ego to Yamato's teenage stardom. I still keep in touch with them now, of course, but it's not the same, we're not the same. But I guess that's to be expected, we're not teenagers anymore.   
  
I remember the days when Ken was a distant idol. Perfection viewed through a television screen, so atractive but so conveniently far away. Like so many of the men I pined for. Whether they were in another country or movie stars or evil Digital Kaizers, they were always conveniently out of reach. I don't recall ever having a crush on a boy that was actually close to me, both emotionally and physically. At least not until Ken moved from the world of glitz to be at my side.   
  
I'm fully aware of what I did when I was young. I may not have been fully aware at the time that I was living a lie, or the consequences it would produce but years of introspection and second guessing have allowed me a certain enlightenment. I knew I was attracted to women for a long time. The problem is, when one is young, one does not think of such things in a light that would reveal anything. I never thought I was any different from any other girl. I swooned over the boys with the rest of them, shopped with the best of them.  
  
I don't think it was until I was identified as a DigiDestined that I actually realized the ramifications of being attracted to other girls. Suddenly thrown into my life were three girls who I had a very deep, soulful connection with and to. I loved them as I loved all the other DigiDestined but the way I looked at Sora was very different than how I looked at Jyou-senpai.  
  
Sora was the first of the older DigiDestined that I met. I admired her from afar, as I did my male interests but with a more connected feeling. She was such a lovely creature, beautiful and athletic... An amazing tennis player, kind and thoughtful. I never exactly had a crush on her, given, but I did admire her. Sora of course went on to marry her high school sweet heart and have two children.   
  
Then came Mimi... I was smitten. Straight away I was smitten. Mimi was everything I wished I was, everything I wanted. Gorgeous, stylish, suave but still sweet and innocent and sincere. I craved her, wanted to be near her so badly. I pined for her but kept my distance. Of course I kept my distance. I was the boy-crazy one, the one who fantasized about marrying Ken. Be careful what you wish for...  
  
I grew out of my crush on Mimi. Then, the one I'd neglected, the one who had been under my nose the whole time suddenly showed herself. Sylphimon appeared. My heart beat with Hikari's for the first time and I was hooked. I felt so increadibly connected with her and was amazed that I'd managed to overlook her. Every time we were together I felt closer and closer to her, we could feel each other's hearts and minds, know each other's thoughts. It was perfection. Oh how I longed for her to know that even that was not enough for me... But I never told her. To this very day, she does not know that I had those feelings for her. We're still close friends, we talk on the phone regularly and go out when our schedules allow.  
  
I was surprised that Hikari never got married. She had her child through artificial insemination by a doner and raised him on her own. I always expected that she and Takeru would end up together... I know she had very strong feelings for him, there's just some things you don't miss when your heart is joined with another's. But they never got together. Takeru adopted a child and raised him alone. Hikari and I suspect he's gay despite how close she and he are without him telling her anything. Oh sweet irony.   
  
And me? I did what was right. I did what I was supposed to do. I married Ken, just like I said I would. I had three children. I love my children dearly and I love my husband as well. My life is perfect, it's the life I always was told I wanted.   
  
I wonder... that little part of me whispers, in spite of myself. What would have happened if you'd told Hikari? Where would you be now? Where would Ken be now? Would you be happier?  
  
The answer, of course, I tell myself is no. I would not be happier... Because that's not who I am. That's not who I would allow myself to be. I am Miyako the mother. I am Miyako the house wife. I am Miyako, the role model and ideal parent. I am proud of who I am.  
  
But sometimes... I wonder if there's another me...  
  
A door opens. "Miyako!"  
  
I quickly set down the picture, smiling as I turn to face my husband as he enters the dining room. "Hello, omae-san," I say, kissing him softly. "What are you doing home so early?"  
  
Ken smiles gently. "I'm not really home," he replies. "I'm on my lunch. I thought perhaps I could have dinner with you and the children before I have to go back."  
  
"That sounds lovely." His smile warms me. He's very thoughtful, I always must admit. That's part of why I love him. "I don't have anything ready yet though and Mai is on her way home from soccer... And Fumihiko is next door."  
  
"Well... why don't you pick up Mai and grab something on the way back? I'll call the Satomi's and have them send Fumihiko home."  
  
I nod. "All right. That sounds fine." Another smile. Another kiss. He steps away, going upstairs to check on Satsuki. The phone rings just as I grab my purse.   
  
"Who is it, omae-san?" Ken calls softly from the top of the stairs as not to wake Satsuki.   
  
I look at the ID pad on the telephone. Yagami Hikari.   
  
"No one, Ken-chan. Don't worry about it."  
  
I let it ring. 


End file.
